Actually, I probably didn’t, but I saw some guys that sort looked like them.

To begin with, for the underinformed, I should probably explain who the Montauk Monster and the Jersey Devil are.

I’ll start with the Jersey Devil because he is more well known.

THE JERSEY DEVIL

I’ve been reading about the Jersey Devil since I was a wee lad. The known mythology is that this character called “Old Mother Leeds” had so many children, she eventually got sick of it. She was like an Octo-Mom type, but she did something that some folks might consider even more insidious than starring in a reality show.

If memory serves, old Mama Leeds said, “I’m sick of these children! Should I have one more, LET IT BE A DEVIL!!”  So,  people in New Jersey think she DID give birth to a devil that looks like a weird camel/bat hybrid thing that roams the Jersey Pine Barrens to this day.

I don’t think I actually saw a Jersey Devil. I just look out windows all the time, hoping to see some kind of monster. What I saw was probably like a loose German Shepherd, a coyote, or a fox on stilts. So, let’s not call this guy that I saw the Jersey Devil. We’ll just call him “the Ohio Annoyance” until he gets fully classified.

I may have not seen the real Jersey Devil, but a lot of people think they did, to the point where it got its MONSTERS IN MY POCKET figure!  Which I think is the highest honor any cryptid can be awarded.

You know who wasn’t immortalized as a Monster in My Pocket though?   This next guy:

THE MONTAUK MONSTER 

Now, there is a good chance you’ve never heard of the Montauk Monster. But if you watched a certain South Park episode, you might remember Al Gore, searching for a creature called the ManBearPig. That’s what this thing looks like. Half man, half bear-pig.(I’m super cereal!)

I couldn’t believe I saw one of these things walking around my backyard, because, by all accounts, the Montauk Monster is just a skinned raccoon that washed up on shore in Montauk. I still don’t know where Montauk is…oh, wait, I looked it up. It’s in New York.

Now, I’ve been around raccoons all my life. They are extremely adorable and extremely dangerous, especially around garbage cans. Do not put a garbage can outside at night, if you think there might be a raccoon in the vicinity. That can only end in tragedy.

Are there even raccoons in New York? I dunno, but we sure have them in Ohio. And this beast carcass is supposed to be a skinned raccoon.

I still think it looks more like a ManBearPig, but I’ll have to ask Al Gore.

What do you think it looks like?  I’m gonna post a picture of him down below. (I say “him” because you can actually see a penis.)

I mean, the thing I saw looked like this carcass, but it was walking around. As I said, raccoons are indeed abundant where I live in Ohio, so, there are a ton of hunters and a ton of raccoons. But what did this hunter in Mantauk do?  Find the one raccoon in New York, skin it and make a Davy Crocket hat?  Do hunters even eat raccoons? Are they edible?

Well, whatever I saw, it was like a walking, living version of this:

(Trigger warning for anyone who dislikes skinned dead animals or animal penises.)

(Oh, wait. I couldn’t get the picture with the penis. You can go to reddit, if you’d like see that. “Montauk Monster” Strange animal washed up on Montauk Shores in 2008. Any idea what animal it is? I think it’s either a dog or a pig. : r/oddlyterrifying (reddit.com)

(Instead I now present you the Montauk Monster Wikipedia picture.)

I don’t really like people all that much, but if I had to pick a person to like it would probably be my Gramps.  And since it’s Memorial Day I’m gonna memorialize him!

In all seriousness (Or, at least as serious as I can be) everyone loved Gramps.  And I might just have been his number one fan.

My dad died when I was six, and my mom was a court reporter and worked all the time. She did the best she could, but she was at work a lot.

My Gramps and Grams had to raise me while she was at work, so I spent a lot of time at their (now demolished) house in the wilds of Brunswick Ohio.

When I was inside with Grams, we were watching soap operas and Jerry Springer or Montell Williams. (Which did teach me a lot about life)

When I was outside, with Gramps, that was when I learned how to be a man! Well, I never really learned how to be a man, but Gramps did try to teach me, God bless him!!

The man was not a big talker, but he KNEW his plants!

Now, knowing plants may not sound manly, but have you seen a tomato worm!? I think he had to use his WWII skills to navigate through them.

Yes, he was a WWII veteran. He was firing cannons in the Big One.

This made it so I was one of the few people he could hear. I don’t know if comes through, in my writing, but I HAVE A LOUD ANNOYING VOICE.

So, we had a bit of a special bond, because he could actually hear me, and I could talk to him.

And he was funny! You rarely heard his jokes because he was soft-spoken, but he had a sly sense of humor. I was disappointed when I gave him my Marx Brothers DVDs and he said he didn’t like them. Then, I realized, he probably didn’t like them because Groucho talked too fast, and he couldn’t hear him. (He could have at least enjoyed Harpo!)

But Gramps did know how to be funny. One of my favorite memories is when my best buds and I went over to his house to film a short video for one of my friend’s college videography project. It was a joke project, because my friend convinced his professor that it was a short film about an old man who had dementia and thought he was seeing aliens. The professor BELIEVED this, but my Gramps was in on the joke. He was never senile. (My Grams, sadly, got dementia, but not my Gramps.) He had it together all the way until he died. But he PRETENDED to be senile for this short film.  He did a hilarious scene where he stood like a foot away from the hummingbird feeder, and held up binoculars, to try to see it better. It was hilarious!

Other than maybe Jonathan Richman, there are few other people who ever walked this earth as pure concentrated  good, but I think my Gramps was one of them. (Or maybe Jesus)

So, this Memorial Day I choose to memorialize Gramps!    If there is a Heaven, he is probably like the big man on campus of Heaven at this point! (Other than God I guess.)

And if you can hear me up there, AND I’M SURE YOU CAN, Luv U always, Gramps!

A lot of comedians get “cancelled” for making offensive jokes. We live in a time that is more sensitive to the feelings of others.  I wish times were more like this when I was a skinny kid, getting his X-Men cards stolen from him, and being dangled off a bridge on a class trip, but as a wise man once said, “Life’s a lot of things. But fair isn’t one of them.”

One thing that was great about life when I was a small child, back in the antediluvian era, was this thing called R.I.F.

R.I.F stands for Reading is Fundamental, and it still exists for kids today, which is great! I’m not sure how it works now, but back in the day, kids in elementary school got to go and pick out a free book. There were probably a lot of great books to choose from, but because I was such a fan of comic books and comic strips, I would usually end up getting a Garfield book.  Also, my elementary school was named Garfield Elementary.  I think that was a coincidence because I’m pretty sure there was another famous guy who wasn’t a cat who was named Garfield. (Don’t quote me on that though.)

So even though this new Garfield movie that came out has been called “Not good.” (Among other things.) Garfield still looms large in my legend

The Garfield and Friends cartoon show and TV specials are always the best Garfield things, to me.  I’ve said this a million times, and so has everyone else over a certain age: “Garfield can only ever be voiced by LORENZO MUSIC!” (Lorenzo, sadly, is no longer with us.) Even the great Bill Murray couldn’t do Garfield justice!  Lorenzo Music voiced Bill Murray’s character, Peter Venkman, on The Real Ghostbusters cartoon, and Bill Murray did the voice of Garfield in the live action Garfield movies. (I’m getting sick of having to bring that up constantly in conversation, but I’m sure I’ll continue to do so every chance I get.)

The thing is, Bill Murray just kind of accidentally ended up being the voice of Garfield in the live action movies, (If you don’t know that story, I recommend you look it up.) but Chris Pratt is just the guy who they go to when they are doing computer animated movies now.

I loved Chris Pratt in the O.C and Parks and Recreation and as Star-Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy, but since he did that LEGO computer animated movie, he seems to be the number one go to CGI cartoon actor, even if he doesn’t fit the role.

Mario? Really? And now GARFIELD!?    Neither of those characters should ever be played by Chris Pratt, but whatever.  Not to mention, if I were to hire an actor from Parks and Recreation, to play Garfield, Chris Pratt isn’t exactly the first person I would choose. First, you’d have to go with Nick Offerman, who is a human version of Garfield or Aubrey Plaza, who, at least, voiced the Grumpy Cat in a Hallmark movie. (I don’t care that she’s a woman. In this case, I’m OK with gender-swap casting.)  But I digress. We are not here to talk about the new Garfield movie.

We’re gonna circle back to R.I.F now, because the important thing is to figure out how Garfield escaped cancellation, writing this book.

Sure, it says, “By Jim Davis” but every cartoon fan knows Jim Davis has barely done anything besides collect money since maybe the late 80s. I’m told he has a bunch or artists and writers who handle the bulk of the work, but I choose to believe Garfield’s Insults Put ‘Downs and Slams was mostly written by Garfield himself.

Here are just a FEW of his most offensive jokes. (I will list them in the way they are partitioned out in the book):

 FACE JOKES   

“You know what goes best with a face like yours? A paper bag!”

“Is that your nose? Or did someone park a blimp on your face?” (This one requires the victim to have a moustache.)

“Nice teeth! For a beaver!”

SNAPPY COME BACKS

John: “I have a date tonight!”

Garfield: ” With who? The alligator girl?” (This one requires you and the victim to both understand what a circus freak show used to be.)

John: “You think I should let my hair grow?”

Garfield: “Yeah. Preferably over your face.”

John:” I feel fit as a fiddle!

Garfield: “Yeah, but you look like a tuba.”

CAREER JEERS

( These three are about jobs I’ve done.)

WRITERS: “It’s amazing how you can fill up all those pages.”

CARTOONISTS:  ” Well, we can’t all be physicists.”

JOURNALISTS: ” I know that if you had the budget, you’d be doing major news stories like Geraldo.”

There are a bunch more categories in the book, but the most specific category to Garfield is the one called:

DUMB AS ODIE

” You look so tired. Have you been thinking?”

” You’re so dumb, you flunked recess.”

“Your brain is like the Abominable Snowman. Neither one has ever been found.”

Now some of those jokes might seem mean, some might seem wrong, but all of them would sound funnier if they were delivered by Lorenzo Music instead of Chris Pratt.

I won’t judge the new Garfield movie though, because I haven’t seen it. But I will say none of those insults from the Garfield book I got from R.I.F ever worked on anyone who was ever bullying me as a kid.

And, as an adult, they STILL don’t work!!

”

So, I was waiting to write about this until the new Planet of the Apes movie came out and the fact that the new movie is such a success makes it even more fun for me to “MARCH INTO THE FORBIDDEN ZONE” of Planet of the Apes movie history!

What would be a more appropriate time to discuss Revenge from Planet Ape?  (I mean, this isn’t even a good time to discuss it either, but there isn’t one, so I’m just gonna talk about it now.)

When the Planet of the Apes movie series started with the Charlton Heston movie in 1969 ,those “damn dirty apes” took the world by storm, with sequels and toys and a TV series, comics etc. but nobody, and I mean nobody, was prepared for Revenge From Planet Ape. (So, it’s probably a good thing no one ever saw it.)

Now, to explain Revenge from Planet Ape, I must first explain:

TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD:   According to Wikipedia, Tombs of the Blind Dead is, and I quote: ” a 1972 Spanish-Portuguese horror film written and directed by Amando de Ossorio.^[1] Its original Spanish title is La noche del terror ciego (lit. English: The Night of the Blind Terror).”

I hate to quote Wikipedia but that’s the easiest way to explain Tombs of the Blind Dead.  And even if Wikipedia is wrong, I don’t care, because I couldn’t explain it to you any better.

Anyway, there were sequels to that movie and my favorite one was translated to Night of the Seagulls and, I think, that means the Templar Knights in these movies got their eyes pecked out by seagulls.  Maybe. I dunno. I could never figure it out.  BUT, there are a whole bunch of weird Spanish/Portugese movies with guys riding around on horseback, dressed up like the Grim Reaper. That’s really all that matters, right? You would think so, but no. It actually gets more complicated than that.

REVENGE FROM PLANET APE is the most insane attempt ever to weld two completely disparate movie franchises together. The Tombs of the Blind Dead series of horseback riding zombies made no sense, so, some guy decided to combine them with The Planet of the Apes Movies because he thought the skulls looked like apes?

The skulls really didn’t look like ape skulls, but the distributor thought they did, so then he decided to make an intro that tenuously linked the ape movies and the Blind Dead movies.

You might be asking yourself, “Is this even legal?” and the answer is “‘No,” which explains why there are only three or four  people who have ever heard of Revenge from Planet Ape.

Well, now, five people, because you’ve heard of it.

But I am proud to be one of the three or four people on the entire Internet who have ever talked about Revenge from Planet Ape. Now I hope nobody else ever talks about it again.

So, if you ever feel like watching a Planet of the Apes movie, don’t bother watching Revenge From Planet Ape. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a movie, much less a Planet of the Apes movie.

It feels odd to say you are shocked when speaking of an 98 year old man who just died, but the last time I saw Roger Corman being interviewed by Joe Bob Briggs, he still seemed filled with vim and vigor!

He still seemed like he wanted to make another movie!

I can’t begin explain how important Roger was and is to the movie business. Everyone will focus on the people he gave starts to, who became huge. So, mostly, I just wanna focus on the movies he made, that really meant something to me, growing up.

Yes, growing up, I was a Roger Corman fan. Long before I even started watching MST3K, I knew Roger Corman’s name. (And from what I hear, Roger wasn’t a fan of MST3K, but he should have been, because that’s where a lot of people saw his stuff.)

Believe it or not, I was weird growing up. I had a book about Roger Corman movies and I did a book report on it in high school. (I did a book report about Ed Wood too and one about William Castle. I knew the good/bad movies even before I got a chance to see all of them!)

And I hate doing lists, but I seem to do them a lot lately anyway, so here is my list.

THE TOP TEN ROGER CORMAN MOVIES THAT AFFECTED ME IN THE ORDER OF WHEN THEY WERE RELEASED:

(And I’m a huge fan of 50s and 60s cheese, so a lot of this is his old stuff on my list.)

1. THE DAY THE WORLD ENDED (1955) This was the first monster movie Roger ever directed. It was about a post apocalyptic world where pretty much everyone is dead, except for a few people who hate each other, holed up in a house. This an example of how Roger would work with one of my fave monster makers, Paul Blaisdell, who made the affectionally dubbed “Marty the Mutant,” (He liked to name his creatures) who menaces the people in the house. When I reached a certain age, I decided to watch this movie on my birthday, because it stars with THE END and ends with THE BEGINNING.  Try that whenever you feel old. It’s inspirational.
2. IT CONQUERED THE WORLD (1956) Paul Blaisdell already proved himself with Marty the Mutant, but with It Conquered the World he gave us BEULAH!! Possibly the most iconic Corman critter! Beulah is a giant carrot looking thing. Beaulah does conquer the world. Mostly it hides in a cave.  Beverly Garland, Peter Graves and Lee van Cleef are all good in this movie, and are remarkably stoic, while acting against a large vegetable thing.   It was remade in color for TV by Larry Buchannan, as Zontar the Thing From Venus, and if you already don’t like this movie, I wouldn’t recommend watching that one.
3.  NOT OF THIS EARTH  (1956) This might be my favorite 1950s Corman movie because it was so damn elusive! I  didn’t see it until the internet made it so you could see anything.  There were actually remakes of it (Produced by Roger Corman) but the original was hard to find. It’s the age old story of an alien (Paul  Birch) who comes to earth and poses as an eccentric rich guy, who has to steal blood from earthlings, to resuscitate his dying planet. To assist him in his plot, he has a weird umbrella shaped bat thing that can crush your head. (I don’t think Paul Blaisdell even bothered to name this thing.)
4. ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS (1956)  Did you know Amelia Earhart was most likely devoured by coconut crabs after she crashed? (That does not happen in this movie, but it’s an interesting factoid you can use to impress your friends with over dinner conversation.) While Amelia might not be in this movie, RUSSELL JOHNSON (The professor from Gilligan’s Island) is! Gilligan’s Island wasn’t infested by giant brain eating crabs who take on the personalities of anyone they kill though. (That would have been an AWESOME episode!)
5. THE UNDEAD  (1957) A month after Crab Monsters,  Corman, not one to rest on his laurels,  directed and produced the Undead. Now this is an example of a movie I ONLY know from MST3K. I highly recommend that version because the riffing makes it amazing. Otherwise, I’m not sure this confusing tale of a prostitute regressing via hypnosis to her former life as an accused witch in medieval times would have made my top ten list. If you watch the MST3K version, you will find yourself yelling, “STAAAAAAYY!!!” at odd inopportune times. (Watch the episode and you will know why.)
6. THE SAGA OF THE VIKING WOMEN AND THEIR VOYAGE TO THE WATERS OF THE GREAT SEA SERPENT (1958) This movie was also on MST3K but that’s not why I like it. I like it because it’s got one of the best titles ever. You can probably guess what it’s about. One reviewer raved, “Cheap, even by Roger Corman’s standards.”
7. TEENAGE CAVEMAN (1958) I’m sick of saying when a movie was on MST3K but four of these movies were, including this one. The “teenage caveman” is played by Robert Vaughn of The Man from U.N.C.L E fame. He is probably about 35 years old when they made this movie.  To be fair, Roger had called the movie Prehistoric World but, because of the huge trend in teenage horror movies at the time, American International Pictures retitled it Teenage Caveman.  So, Roger always had the ultimate out when he talked about that movie. He would say, “I never made a movie named Teenage Caveman.”
8. A BUCKET OF BLOOD, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS AND CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA (1960-61)  I am running out of slots so I’m going to count Corman’s horror comedy trilogy as one movie. A Bucket of Blood stars veteran character actor Dick Miller (Remember him? He was Mr. Futterman in Gremlins!) as Walter Paisley, the geek busboy at a beatnik coffee house who accidently kills a cat, coats it with plaster and is suddenly the star of the beat scene. But will he turn to people next? Little Shop of Horrors is probably known more nowadays for its re-make with Rick Moranis  (Which was based on the MUSICAL which was based on this movie!) but Roger was the first to show the story of a dweeby flower shop employee who raises a plant who feeds on blood. And Creature from the Haunted Sea is a farce of a heist movie where a goofy looking monster ends up with the loot. (If you’ve ever seen the opening credits of the show Malcolm in the Middle, you have seen a clip of the monster and know how goofy he looks.)
9.  THE PREMATURE BURIAL(1960) I had to pick at least one movie from Corman’s “Poe Cycle,” where he made a whole lot of movies loosely based on the works of Edgar Allan Poe. Why did I pick this one when it doesn’t even have Vincent Price in it?  Pretty much because the main character played by Ray Milland has such an insane fear of being buried alive that he makes himself the most incredibly souped up crypt ever! Must be seen to be appreciated, so watch it!
10. DEATH RACE 2,000 (1975) Corman only produced this movie, he did not direct it (Paul Bartell did) and if I was listing all the movies I love that Corman only produced but didn’t direct, this list would be a LOT longer. I’m not a car buff, so every time I talk to anyone who is, I just bring up this movie. It’s like a live action version of the old Hanna-Barbera cartoon Wacky Races (And Wacky Races was already pretty much a cartoon adaption of the 1965 movie The Amazing Race) only Death Race 2,000 had a lot of killing in it. It has been re-made but never surpassed.

Honorable mention goes to the unreleased 1994 Fantastic Four movie.  The rights holders to the Fantastic Four comics had a deal where they had to at least prove they were making a movie so they could retain the property. So, who do you go to when you need a movie made and quick? Roger Corman!

Corman executive produced it, but it was never intended for release. It was a mere myth among us Fantastic Four fans until we got bootlegs of it at comic conventions. The whole thing is on YouTube now. Even though it was never meant to be released, it’s the best Fantastic Four adaption to date! ( There is a documentary about it called Doomed! The Untold Story of Roger Corman’s the Fantastic Four, which I highly recommend.)

I just assumed Roger Corman would never die, and at least go on executive producing movies for another couple hundred years, but here we are.

Rest in peace, Roger! (Now that I think of it, he probably can’t do that, because he’s probably busy making a series of movies about the afterlife. I’m sure they will come in under budget, and I look forward to seeing them someday!)

Over the course of my life, I’ve had many a cat. (Or, you know, the cats had me.) but,  I think the strangest one HAD to have been Superman.

I know what you’re thinking, “He’s a comic book geek, so he named him Superman.”  This is factually untrue.

Well, not the part about me being a comic book geek, that part is very true, but I didn’t name him.

At this point in my awesome life, I was living at Kent State, going to school, but I would come back to see my beloved Mom, because I loved her and didn’t wanna do my laundry in the building I was living in.

So, I was helping her pick out a new cat, and this little black and white tuxedo guy kept jumping at me.   In classic Mom fashion, she said, “Oh! He’s like Superman!” because he was jumping over a fence in a single bound.

Of course, we got him. (along with a big fuzzy guy we called Jeffrey, who actually had a goatee but he’s another story) and then she noticed he also had a shape on his chest that looked kind of similar to the Superman symbol, so the Superman name just kinda stuck.

Superman, the cat, however, was more like Lex Luthor than Superman. I was like the Superman in this situation, for trying to always be nice, and he was like Lex, because he was always trying to figure out ways to kill me.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED, and still do love that cat. But when he wanted to play, he could play rough!

One of my most cherished memories is the time I was going to be the Best Man at my best friend’s wedding. (Yes, Superman did somehow involve himself in this even though he was not on the guest list.)

I had developed a small wart on my hand. I, honestly, don’t remember how. I had never had one before. But, then, Superman took it upon himself to scratch it open, so I bled on my hand like crazy, just a couple weeks before the wedding and had to spend the event with my hand wrapped up like the Mummy’s hand in the Mummy’s Hand because, apparently, blood spreads warts. ( Consider that a public service announcement.)

I also had to work at the Dairy Queen with my wart  infested mummy  hand, but, it remained nicely wrapped up so nobody could get infected . I used my other hand and shoulder to spurt out the soft serve, so, luckily,  that injury did not impede me from doing my normal  job of  making cones that look like crap. (Seriously, I doubt that made my cone forming any worse or better than usual. I was not the best DQ employee.)

Superman learned other ways to be weird after that.

One day he decided to have nipples. I’m not sure where that came from. The vet said he was a dude. But he sprouted all these nipples. I’m not one to judge. Maybe he was a trans cat or something? I still don’t think you can will yourself to have extra nipples, but he did.

His ultimate weirdness was that he fell in love with  a stuffed  animal. It was stuffed a tiger wearing a Hawaiin shirt.  My Mom dubbed this tiger Blanche.

This is a Mother’s Day column because I had given her the stuffed tiger, attached to a pair of night socks for a Mother’s Day present one year.

My mom called this tiger Blanche (A Streetcar Named Desire)  and Superman loved it so much, he dragged her all over the house.  My Mom, when she couldn’t sew up poor Blanche anymore, resorted to buying baby clothes (onesies)  that fit a stuffed tiger.

She wasn’t wrong. Superman loved this plush tiger so much, we had to have him cremated with it when he died!

Well, Superman, the cat, and I, and all the other cool cats you ever had, will always love you, Mom! No matter how weird we are!

I will most likely be the chump.

Pac-Man and I have a rich and storied history, and now that the new Pac-Man MEGA TUNNEL BATTLE CHOMP CHAMPS game is out, on Switch, it’s all coming back to me.

The original Pac-Man game came out before my arcade going time, but it was the first arcade game I ever played.

And yes, it was at a Chuck E Cheese birthday party. I don’t remember who that birthday party was for, and I’m sure, whoever he was, he’s long dead by now. The important thing is, for the purposes of this article, I remember that Pac-Man machine.

We all know Pac-Man. I needn’t get into the specifics of the game. The ways Pac-Man has affected us all are myriad, and I couldn’t possibly know how he’s munched on your lives, but I will tell you some of the ways he chewed on mine:

1. When I was but a wee lad I found a wind-up Pac-Man toy at my great aunt’s house. Why my great aunt had a wind-up Pac-Man toy is beyond my comprehension.  I didn’t think Pac-Man fever had gripped the nation to the point where it would affect my great aunt, but that was proof.  (Actually, it’s possible someone had left the toy at her house. I still wanna dive deeper into this.)
2. There was always this lady, who lived down the hill from me, who had an actual Pac-Man machine. It was in her garage and, every time I would go down the hill in my neighborhood, it was there, in her garage, staring at me, MOCKING ME!! And she eventually moved away, without selling it to me, even though I was too young to be able to afford it, and still probably can’t. (I smell conspiracy.)
3. As a young punk I would always go to the mall arcades, and while my less cultured friends would play Tekken Tag, I would always play the Ms. Pac-Man Galaga arcade cabinet.  (I won’t delve into this too much because Ms. Pac-Man is actually superior to Pac-Man, and I don’t want to dwell on his ex-wife, when this article is about him.)
4. I have put Pac-Man stickers, which I purchased at a vintage toy shop, on most of the guitars I have ever owned. Most have been cleaned off or rotted away over time, but I still have a “U.S. Pac-Man Team” sticker on my bass guitar, and I DON’T EVEN PLAY BASS GUITAR!!  The use for my bass may be gone, but the sticker remains.
5. I have a million different hand-held and home console versions of Pac-Man, including this new Chomp Challenge one, on Switch, which I’m about to test out, to see if it makes me a chomp champ or a chomp chump.

Now I’m playing it, and yup, I’m the chomp chump.

I haven’t got past the training stage yet, and after you do, you can compete with other people online, and there are  different mazes, and customizable stuff. And you can warp into other people’s mazes to complete missions?

Clearly, it will take me a minute to figure out this game, but, If you are like me and will buy anything that says Pac-Man on it , you will probably enjoy PAC-MAN MEGA TUNNEL BATTLE CHOMP CHAMPS !