This is the year of “Did I do That To Christmas?: Urkel Saves Santa.” Which doesn’t look so bad from what I’ve seen of it so far.
And I’m assuming, if you are reading this website you probably own at least one Urkel doll, which is great, but some of us come upon our Urkel dolls under decidedly unusual circumstances.
For instance, I got my Urkel doll from my neighbor, a very sweet, very old, hearing impaired lady. I have no idea why she had one (She probably couldn’t hear it talking.) and, more importantly, I have no idea why I didn’t already have one.
The thing is, when you get a secondhand Urkel doll, it will never, EVER have its glasses.
I defy you to find one in the wild with glasses. For some inexplicable reason, they decided to manufacture the Urkel doll with removable glasses pretty much guaranteeing they will be separated from the figure at some point and never be found again.
Now, I have a long history of losing important toy accessories. I still can’t find the sword for my original He-Man, I accidentally flushed my Mr. Potato Head’s pipe down the toilet, and I shit you not, I accidentally dropped my Splinter’s cane into a Perfection game. Like, if you rattle the Perfection game you can still hear the cane mocking you in there.
But this Urkel doll glasses thing was not my fault. It was Mrs. Morton’s fault. (She must have played with that so hard, so often, and taken everywhere she went.)
But an Urkel doll without its glasses is not useless. It still talks when you pull the string, with classic like “Got any cheese?” and “Did I do that?” but what shocks me is they never made a Carl Winslow doll to be an annoyed companion, to say “GO HOME! GO HOME! GO HOME!” (My friend tells me Reginald VelJohnson is currently starring in a cartoon called Invincible where plays the principal of Reginald VelJohnson High School, and that sounds like something I definitely need to watch right now. So, I don’t why I’m wasting time writing this instead of doing that.)
Full House got a sequel,”Fuller House” and I think the only reason Family Matters has not gotten a sequel show called “MOORE Family Matters” is because Jaleel White just does not want to play Steve Urkel anymore.
This is too bad because, Steve Urkel and Carl Winslow were the Laurel and Hardy for us Millennials. (Jaleel even said that’s what he was going for, a combination of Laurel and Hardy and Ed Grimley.)
Most TGIF shows shows did not age well, but try watching the Family Matters episode where Carl tries to help Steve learn to drive. It’s impossible not to laugh. (Well, until the part where Carl has a minor heart attack, but every TGIF show had to have an important message.)
The other funniest part of the show was Waldo Geraldo Faldo. Come to think, I don’t know why they didn’t make a talking Waldo doll. Pull the string and it says “I may get F’s, but by God, I EARN them!” (A phrase I’ve incorporated handily into my own life.)
So, the moral of this article is, if you’re looking for a Christmas present for me, which I’m sure you are, think URKEL DOLL GLASSES! I don’t need the whole doll, as I’ve said, just the glasses! (Remember to think of others this Holiday season. There are people staving and people who need Urkel glasses!) Or, if you “got any cheese,” I’d be happy to have some of that too.
(Here is a picture of another Urkel doll tragically missing it’s glasses. You can see the hole in his forehead where you’re supposed to plug the glasses in.)