Sunday, February 11th, 2024 1:50 am.

Valentine’s Day can sometimes be a bummer for me. On the rare years I’m not in a committed relationship with a super model, famous actress, pop diva etc., I trend towards the morose. But not this year!! This year I’m choosing to focus on other things in life I love. And I love the Loveland Frogman.
As a lifelong Ohio resident, I am ashamed to say I’ve never ONCE visited Loveland. I’m even more ashamed to say I have absolutely no idea where in Ohio Loveland is. (Don’t feel bad, Loveland. I sometimes forget where my own house is.)
I do know Loveland is somewhere in Ohio. And I know it has a frog monster.
According to the book WEIRD OHIO, by James A. Willis, Adrew Henderson and Loren Edleman, two cops saw this mutant frogman in 1972 on TWO SEPARATTE OCCASIONS!
One cop said he saw what he assumed was a dead dog, which reared up on its hind legs, to reveal ghastly glowing eyes!
The other cop, on St. Patrick’s Day, saw some roadkill, that looked suspiciously like that frog thing, hobble up from the middle of the road and climb over a guard rail. (If you want a more detailed account, buy the book.)
Both cops might have been drunk, because, later on, they both recanted what they saw and claimed it was a large iguana, standing on its hind legs.
Personally, I think, seeing a large iguana standing on its hind legs and running around would be just about as impressive as a frog man, and would make you sound just as drunk.
Can iguanas do that? (I just looked it up and it seems they can do that. I’m both impressed and terrified!)

Now, here is a fun fact that involves frogmen. When O.J Simpson was arrested, he had already filmed a pilot episode for a TV show called “Frogmen,” and he bought a knife to use for it! Does this have anything to do with the Loveland Frogman? Well, maybe a little bit, because, like O.J., the Loveland Frogman has been accused of having a weapon!

According to some people the Loveland Frogman had some sort of a lightsaber or a ray gun.

(Speaking of Frogmen with weapons, on my last birthday, I procured for myself a Frog Monger as a present for me. Frog Monger, for the woefully under informed, is a character from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe franchise. Up until now, Frog Monger existed only as a picture of a webby claw on a sticker of a sewer grate on the bottom of the original Castle Grayskull playset. Since people like me are willing to pay money for an action figure of that, they made one.
Now that I have a Frog Monger action figure, I realize it is the ultimate example of something I never knew I needed until the exact second I knew it existed. He is a frog guy and he does indeed have a weapon. BUT he’s not the specific frog guy we came here to talk about today. So, back to our program.)
The Loveland Frogman rabbit hole keeps growing deeper and deeper. According to Wikipedia, in May 2014, there was a musical at the Art Academy of Cincinnati titled “Hot Damn! It’s the Loveland Frog!” (I need to see that so bad it hurts.) and in 2023 the Loveland Frog became the city’s mascot.

Look, I’m not an actual cryptozoologist. I just like believing in things I know probably don’t exist, and it seems the Loveland Frogman has become the Frog Prince of Ohio. So, if you should happen to run into this elusive Loveland Frogman soon, please, give him a kiss for me this Valentine’s Day!

There he is.

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